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“There was this sense of liberation and freedom I felt a lot of the time when playing as a girl,” explains Jeff, a 27-year-old media manager from London. There are even memes which jokingly suggest that boys who raced with Yoshi or Princess Peach in Mario Kart all turned out to be gay. I’m not the only gay man who explored gaming through female characters. But as a young boy attempting to situate himself within an “acceptable” male interest, these confident women helped me. This might have felt exclusive to girls who, like me, did not feel like they often met the expectations of their gender. Looking back, it is now obvious to me that many of the female characters that I idolised, such as Nina or Lara, represented a hyper-sexualised femininity crafted from the male gaze. Events and Offers Sign up to receive information regarding NS events, subscription offers & product updates. Ideas and Letters A newsletter showcasing the finest writing from the ideas section and the NS archive, covering political ideas, philosophy, criticism and intellectual history - sent every Wednesday. Weekly Highlights A weekly round-up of some of the best articles featured in the most recent issue of the New Statesman, sent each Saturday. The Culture Edit Our weekly culture newsletter – from books and art to pop culture and memes – sent every Friday. This Week in Business A handy, three-minute glance at the week ahead in companies, markets, regulation and investment, landing in your inbox every Monday morning. Green Times The New Statesman’s weekly environment email on the politics, business and culture of the climate and nature crises - in your inbox every Thursday. The New Statesman Daily The best of the New Statesman, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning. World Review The New Statesman’s global affairs newsletter, every Monday and Friday. Morning Call Quick and essential guide to domestic and global politics from the New Statesman's politics team. Sign up for The New Statesman’s newsletters Tick the boxes of the newsletters you would like to receive. So it was unsurprising that, when given the choice, I’d often chose to race, fight or play as a female character in PlayStation games. When the world seemed hostile, strong women made me feel like I could do anything. She-Ra: Princess of Power and X-Men’s Storm were early idols, paving the way for my beloved Buffy Summers years later. These were closely followed by a PlayStation for us to share, which was eventually upgraded to a PS2.Īs a young boy, I had a strong affinity with female heroes. So my parents must have been thrilled when, years before we picked up our rackets, we stopped causing havoc and coexisted harmoniously (almost) when they presented us with Gameboy Colours.
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Until we discovered tennis in our teens (which we played endlessly), finding mutually enjoyable activities to occupy us both was a tough task. My older brother, on the other hand, was the polar opposite of me.
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My parents were kind enough to buy me dolls to play with, a Spice Girls pencil case filled with gel pens and sometimes I’d even dress up and paint my nails. Away from the playground, in the seclusion and sanctuary of the home, I found miniature ways to rebel against restrictive gender norms. As an awkwardly feminine boy, my struggle to enjoy stereotypically male pastimes, such as team sports, was an early indication that I didn’t quite fit in. Growing up gay, I quickly developed a hyper-awareness of the interests that were “acceptable” for boys to have.